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Browsing Tag: and then it turns into an embarrassing anatomy lesson

I Had Personal Space Once

I realized the other day that I keep the door wide open when I use the bathroom, every time. Do you want to know when, exactly, I realized this? It was the moment not long ago when I was using the bathroom, heard the chatter of voices outside it, and remembered with a shock that we had company. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I had visitors in my house, and everyone of them could’ve heard me tinkle if they’d wanted because there I was, door open to the world, just doing the thing that most people think is private. This, my friends? This is life with small children. They hover. They follow you from room to room. They sit in doorframes to watch you reach for the toilet paper, verbally documenting your every move.  Then they get offended when you ask for privacy. They open the doors that are shut. They bang on the doors that are locked, they whine, they stick their fingers through the tiny gap underneath the doors because “WHATAREYOUDOINGINTHEREANDWHYCAN’TIWATCH?!” And: They want to sit on your lap while you’re nursing they baby. They want to sit on…