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Browsing Tag: it wasn’t embarrassing AT ALL (says the lady blushing like an overripe tomato)

Is That a Blaster in Your Pocket, Or You Just Happy to See Me?

We’re in Target, all four of us, me and the kids, because I’m an insane person who doesn’t think to go shopping when two out of the three are in school. I push my cart, with Cian wedged into the front basket, even though he’s grown so big for it he kind of looks like Andre the Giant, if Andre the Giant were to ever try to sit in a Target shopping cart. But when you’re an insane person who thinks it’s a bright idea to take all three kids to Target after two of them have been sitting in classes all day, it’s nice to have common sense enough to at least keep one of them restrained, even if it is with a strap that’s so small the buckle is wedged somewhere inside the kid’s armpit. So, Insane Mother with her three kids go trudging down an aisle, somewhere between home goods (“MOM. Can I get this?” “No.” “What about this?” “No.” “MOM. Can–” “NO.”) and the toilet…