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Category: That’s Unfortunate

And Maybe Go Buy More Laundry Detergent

Parenting tip #101: Has your child begun to clutch her stomach dramatically and complain that it hurts?  Believe her…

Luck of the Irish, My You-Know-What

Yesterday, Cian said, “I have to go baf-room,” and before I had a chance to get over my shock (pride!), he came back out with a look of sheer guilt on his face. “Mom. Can you clean my poop?” His pants were still on. So, clean up we did. Major, major clean up. I should skip over the part where he struggled with me as I took off his pants, which made little chunks of poo rain around us onto the carpet like chocolate-covered balls of stink-infested hail, so I won’t share that. But I will tell you that as I got him dressed again, he looked at the floor in horror and pointed. “Mom! Dere’s more poop!” “No, there’s not, Cian,” I told him, and continued to tug at his pants. “No. MOM. Right dere. Dere’s POOP.” And lo and behold, he’d discovered a little chunk that had gotten smooshed in between my pant leg and the carpet. So, yay. Good day. Today, I overslept by, oh, 45 minutes, and had to rush the girls through…

Oops

Look, it was just supposed to be a quick trip to get pumpkins. David and I had had a crazy-busy weekend (because normal families spend 3 1/2 hours at a time in Lowe’s, right? And normal women venture out to replace one light fixture in a bathroom and decided that they’ll repaint and re-appoint every single fixture in two? And buy new pendant lights to put in over the kitchen island while they’re at it? DAMN YOU, LOWE’S, you beautiful place. You ate our money), and we didn’t do the fall-weekend-pumpkin-patch visit like all of Facebook tells us to. So I called my mom yesterday morning and told her that I was going to zip the kids down to our local farm market for a bit after school to play and pick out their future jack o’lanterns. She was up for it–David has seen my mom more often than I have these past weeks, so I think we needed some fall-Monday-pumpkin-patch bonding time–and off we went. They all start with a simple question, conversations like…