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Category: Family Life

When Your Purpose Needs Some Breathing Room

It’s really, really hard to walk through this life without keeping tabs on other people. And I know I can tell you this because you understand what I’m talking about. That person clearly has more money than I do–look at that brand-new pool! Did you see that new SUV? Ugh. They better be in boatloads of debt or I’m going to hate myself. Or: That person was just awful to me. Why do people have to be so mean? Why should I bother being nice to him/her when s/he’s such an asshat?  Or: If I have to do ONE MORE LOAD OF LAUNDRY (substitute: wash one more dish, pay one more bill, make one more meal, schedule one more week) I am going to LOSE my MIND. Why doesn’t anybody else around here do as much as I do? Ugh, this house/our lives would fall apart if it weren’t for me. Or: No one told me marriage would be this hard. Honest to goodness, single people don’t know how good they have it. Why does that couple seem so happy…

Rough Start

It’s Tuesday, and I’m sitting in my dark office. It’s about eight o’clock in the morning. I’ve been up since 5:30 but that just means I’m only on cup of coffee #2. David has left to take the girls to school, and Cian is still asleep. It’s completely quiet in here save the ticking of a little clock I keep on a table and the soft sound of the rain falling against the porch roof out front. I’ve a salt lamp switched on. That warm glow is like inside sunshine on a day like this. Most days we all need a little sunshine, manufactured or not. (Salt lamp, do your magic.) I’ll also tell you something else: we had family over to celebrate Easter on Sunday, and yesterday I was too occupied with the kiddos to worry about clean-up. So right now? My office is the only room in the house that’s truly clean. I might very well be hiding. I wandered in here with my coffee to do something after the garage door closed, but I&#8217…

It’s that “Bother” Word that Counts

I struggle a lot with the big picture–if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you are nodding your head right now, because you know I’ve been struggling with it. Call it whatever you want: mindfulness, being proactive, taking action. Getting my head out of my you-know-what, even. But the big picture is so big sometimes I cower in front of the magnitude of it. Tell me I’m not the only one. These past weeks have–by forcing me into the big picture, whether I want to see it, or not–put a spotlight on this little failure of mine: the school massacre in Parkland, Florida. The beginning of Lent, with its focus on the Big Picture itself. The quiet waiting on news from my literary agent, which usually sends me into a paralyzed tailspin not unlike inertia. So many things that I fret about, think about, wonder about–have Great Ideas about–I don’t act upon as often or consistently as one would expect from a 41-year-old grown-up with a mortgage. It’s a lot of life slipping…